Have you ever...

Have you ever just sat and looked at your significant other, or thought about them and found yourself unable to stop smiling?

I find myself in this state on a regular basis.

Just recently my husband got some bad news that the company he was working for was going to replace him due to new management and the new manager wanting to hire her brother in law upon arrival in Korea - a HUGE blow for us but nothing we could do about it.

He has been down and out a bit because of the fact and hasn't really wanted to do much at home. He has spent a lot of time in bed, or on the sofa playing video games. I haven't complained at him or anything because I understand he is down and out, but I really need him to do stuff around the house because I spend a lot of time out at work and out tutoring and whatever else I have to do to keep our income coming in.

Having said all of this, he gets up each morning this last week, and he makes me muffins for breakfast while I am getting ready to go, as I have maybe 40 minutes from the time I wake up until the time I have to be out the door, and most of the time I don't have time to sit down for breakfast, so something to eat on the go is nice. I used to stop at the convenience store and buy stuff each day, but I am trying to cut down my spending and trying to eat a little more healthy too, so the muffins are nice. It means too, that I have something delicious to start the day. He hasn't complained about getting up to do this for me either.

My husband is a sweet guy and really does care. He tries his best all the time, and does what he can when he can. Sometimes I wish he would try more, or push himself a little more, but at the same time, I am thankful for him.

6th Anniversary

6 years! WOW!

6 years ago, this Sunday, I was waiting to walk down the aisle to say "I do" to becoming Mrs Russell.

My father was standing with me outside our family church, asking "Are you sure you want to do this? Is this really the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?" and I could look him in the eye and answer honestly "Yes, Dad, it is!"

This Sunday will be 6 years we have been married. I can hardly believe it. We have had our ups and downs, and our cultural differences now and then because of the ways we grew up, and our different backgrounds, however, we have always come back and spoken about them before the night is through.

My brother in law, said to me before we got married, do me a favor, don't have children before you have been married 5 years. Now, he was half joking at the time, and says now he doesn't remember saying it, however, it was because he and his wife were having problems at the time, and were about to enter a 'messy' divorce which is still not sorted, but that's not my story.

We have been married now 6 years, and still don't have children. Many people have asked us when we will have them, to which we reply "When God allows us to have children we will have them. We can not do anything more than what we are allowed to do."

In our 6 years of marriage, we have spent much of it living on top of each other in 1 room apartments and only recently have we moved into a 3 room house, and yet we are still often in the same room when we are both home. It feels strange not to be in the same room often.

I have been thinking about what to do in the gift department for our anniversary, and looking at the chart I posted last year, traditional gifts would be candy or iron, and modern gifts include wood. None of these really scream my husband to me. I guess I'll have to think outside the box for him this year.

Anniversary Gifts

So recently, while I drive to and from work, I have had ideas about anniversary gifts, and questions have come to mind.

 --> Does one need to give their spouse a gift?
 --> What is the reason behind gift giving?
 --> What will my husband think if I get him a gift?
 --> Should I expect a gift in return?

So I looked up suggested gifts for anniversaries as I've heard there are recommendations... and this is what I found:

Anniversary	Traditional	Modern
1st	Paper	Clocks
2nd	Cotton	China
3rd	Leather	Crystal/Glass
4th	Fruit/Flowers	Appliances
5th	Wood	Silverware
6th	Candy/Iron	Wood
7th	Wool/Copper	Desk Sets
8th	Pottery/Bronze	Linens/Lace
9th	Willow/Pottery	Leather
10th	Tin/Aluminum	Diamond Jewelry
11th	Steel	Fashion Jewelry
12th	Silk/Linen	Pearls
13th	Lace	Textile Furs
14th	Animals*	Gold Jewelry
15th	Crystal	Watches
20th	China	Platinum
25th	Silver	Silver
30th	Pearl	Diamond
35th	Coral	Jade
40th	Ruby	Ruby
45th	Sapphire	Sapphire
50th	Gold	Gold
60th	Diamond	Diamond

And then, just recently, an opportunity to give him an early gift of something he needed arose, and so I gave him something that would help him in his work, and that he could use anywhere... it wasn't wood nor was it silverware, but then... does it have to be?

A gift should be something from the heart, right? It should be something for the other person that shows that you are thinking about them. It shouldn't matter the price that is spent on said gift either.

I jokingly told him that he now had 3 months to think of and come up with something for me that was around the same price. He jokingly replied, I'll get you divorce papers, they are worth 3 grand! Over 10 times the price I paid for his gift. I told him quickly that I didn't need nor want them, and that should he give them to me, I'd just give them back and say "nope not happening". He laughed too and said "Good! Just as well!"

Looking at this list of recommended gifts... it seems so strange to me. Why do you need to give wood or silverware on a 5th anniversary? Why textile fur or lace on a 13th? These things just make little sense to me.

Personally, if I were to be able to spend the day with him, and to show him just how much he is loved, and be shown just how much I am loved, then I would be a happy woman. For me, our anniversary, while marking how many years we have been together, isn't an overly important day, as I am thankful for each and every day with him. Even the ones we argue on... because that's part of a healthy and happy relationship. As long as there is an apology or understanding reached afterward. 

What do you think? Are gifts important? Should one be expected to get their spouse a gift? What is the importance of spending money on someone just once a year? 

Some of the best things about being married

I know some of these points might sound a little strange but these are my thoughts...

1. You get to share your life with someone... always.
You know the old saying "I'm married to my best friend"? Well... it can be very true. I mean... of your spouse is not the one who you can confide in and rely in to be there for you always... then there's a problem... right? I love sharing my life with Evan. It means that I have someone to talk to, someone to be alone with, someone to simply share existence with. I mean this past weekend, I was watching Korean drama most of the weekend and he was playing FFXIII-2 and we didn't say a lot, but we were still spending tine enjoying each others company.

2. You have someone to argue with
This might sound really strange, but sometimes things in life just get you annoyed so much you want to yell and scream... if your married... you can do so with your other half... granted its not always the best thing to do... but when occasion strikes... just made sure to apologize afterwards PLEASE!

3. You have someone to share your experiences with
Ok... sure... you could do this with friends too, but sharing experiences with someone you love just seems a little more special. I like to go places with Evan and share or talk about what we did on our way home as we both experience things a little differently and I like to reflect upon his experiences in conjunction with mine to find out what could be betternext time.

4. Thinking alike...
Humans are funny creatures... if we click with someone, we tend to start thinking alike. Most times if we live with someone or click at a deeper level, you can finish one another's sentences, choose what the other person would, and know just what they are thinking. For as long as I have know Evan, we have been able to do this with each other. Sometimes its to the point that we can have the same conversations with a person without hearing what the other had said... its happened before. I can say it was weird to hear a friend recount the convo to me. He and I often finish each others sentences, understand what the other is talking about when they say "put the thingie on the thing and grab the whatchamacallit for me please" and friends stand and stare in awe... which makes me laugh.

5. You can live in a confined space and not kill each other
At our wedding reception, my father told our guests that he admired us because we had lasted together well, and he was sure we would be fine. Why? Because, at that point we had been living in a 1room studio apartment for 6 months and hadn't killed each other. He told our guests that it was not a easy thing to do as when you so this, in a foreign country especially, you have no where to go and hide if you argue, and so he recommended all couples try this. Now, Evan and I have been living together in 1room apartments for 4 years, and we still haven't killed each other. Sometimes we wonder how we've done it, but for the most part, we are super happy. We wouldn't mind a bigger place with more rooms, but thats more so we can spread out and have a luxury or 2, like a sofa or a couple of comfy chairs, maybe a computer room so our bedroom is electronics free so we can sleep easier, but not so we can hide or run away when we have a fight. We learned that the best way to deal with a fight is to give a few minutes to cool off and then apologize and talk things out. Give it a try sometime... it may work for you too.

Well, for now I'm going to leave it here and go teach some students, but until next time...

A short intro

This will NOT be a place where I b***h about my husband or about things that happen in  our lives that others do not need to know! I will not spill private details about things that he or I don't want the world to know... this is not the idea behind why I'm posting this.

I'm wanting to be able to share insights, offer advice and post about positives in our lives together.

I married my husband on July 24, 2010 in New Zealand. There was a lot to plan, and we were in South Korea. We had to have a lot of help in planning our wedding, and that wasn't easy. I'm thankful to ALL who helped us out in many ways.

I will post photos of our wedding in a later post, and I'll post about our lives too, as well as how we met, and the things we do together.